What really happened when Yuuji visited Hideyoshi's bed
by Mikuru Beeeaaam
Summary: The new Hide/Yuu. . . Lol
1. Chapter 1

**What **_**really **_**happened when Yuuji visited Hideyoshi's bed**

This is pure speculation about what happened when Yuuji came into Hideyoshi's bed (season 2, ep. 6). I'm writing this because I love Baka and Test and Yuuji and Hideyoshi are my favorite characters! (And because I DON'T want to be writing my thesis!) :P

Also, NO ONE has done this pairing. Shouko is such a sadist—doesn't Yuuji deserve some happiness?

Slash fic rated M for language and mature sexual themes.

**Yuuji's POV**

That damn Akihisa. I don't even want to know what he's dreaming about. He's clutching a pillow excitedly and panting and whining like a puppy. Like a puppy whose owner is dangling bacon in front of his idiotic face.

Forget that I need to sleep since I am the strategist, the brains of an important operation to find a pernicious blackmailer (and to peek at the girls bathing)—I want to go to sleep to escape uneasy thoughts. It is one thing for an idiot like Akihisa or those idiots in FFF or those random middle schoolers to fall for Hideyoshi. They keep forgetting he is not a girl. Lately I think I've been getting confused by their confusion. Idiocy must be contagious; Kinoshita Yuuko suggested this to Himeji-san once and now I suspect it is true.

What explanation could there be? Recently when he began to take off his shirt when Himeji-san interrupted our game of doubt, I felt somewhat aroused. But he's a guy. I know that. But then I started to think about him when I masturbated. It makes no sense; I like girls like any normal guy. Not Shouko, but I think those girls in my porn mags are hot. . .

It's around dawn, meaning I still have a few hours of zzz's. It is light enough that I can see Hideyoshi's slight form in the bed alongside Akihisa. I suppose I'm tossing around a lot, because Hideyoshi opens those beautiful eyes and smirks. "Pretty obvious what he's dreaming about. . . " he gestures toward Akihisa.

"I don't even want to know." I said gruffly. "I'm surprised Muttsurini is asleep." I get up and come to Hideyoshi's bed. No sense in awaking the idiot by talking over him, right?

"Hm, well he's been known to sleep through Ironman's rants. Akihisa having a naughty dream won't wake him." He threads his long slender fingers through shiny chestnut hair. I never understood why he didn't just cut his hair; people wouldn't confuse him for his twin sister if he got a guy's haircut.

"I don't want to think about that brainless asshole having a wet dream."

Hideyoshi stifles a laugh. "You said that rather bluntly."

Just being close to him was making my heart race.

"To be blunt, I wonder if he is dreaming about you."

It is hard to read Hideyoshi. I always suspected he had a crush on Akihisa, but he never made a move, even when that idiot asked him out to the Kisaragi amusement park and confessed his love!

"Why would you say such a thing?" he looks startled.

"You have that effect on guys."

"Not on you, though."

"How do you know that?" During the conversation, we had inched toward each other. Now our faces are inches apart.

"You don't seem like the other guys."

"Why is that?"

"Well, you don't seem to care when I wear girl's clothes."

I fall silent.

"Oh. . ." He looks lost in thought.

"So. . . what did you think when I dressed like my sister?"

". . ."

"I actually thought it was a subterranean way to get me to dress like a girl."

"I think you mean subconscious."

"Ha. Possibly."

"You should consider studying once in awhile."

"You should consider being in drama, then. You're good at acting like you don't care."

I shift slightly. Could he tell I was starting to get hard?

He continues: "You don't get nosebleeds either."

"No. I don't. Those guys are perverts."

"You're not?" He lowers his eyelashes, then looks up with a half smile. "Why did you come over here, then?"

I gulp. "To, to talk!" Get ahold of yourself Yuuji! I use my commanding class rep voice: "I couldn't sleep. You're awake, so it's only natural to have a conversation. About. . . strategy."

He raises an eyebrow. He knows. He is a terrible student, no doubt, but he is actually not an idiot. Now I'm fully erect and very uncomfortable and my heart is in my throat. I forget about keeping control and take him by the shoulders, gently leaning in for a kiss. His lips are unbelievably soft and moist. I prod his mouth with my tongue. I nearly go when he massages my tongue in response. Then he jolts back.

"Yuuji! What is this?"

"You know what it is." The way I pressed against him, there is no way he didn't feel my erection. He frowns slightly.

"I never thought you. . ."

He can't finish because my tongue is in his mouth, more urgent this time. I can feel him hard against me. I reach down to stroke him. He is a lot larger than I thought he'd be, given his height and build. He gasps jaggedly. "What. . . is this?" My hand breaks away. "Should I stop?"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. I begin to stroke him again, gently. Then, as his breathing becomes more fevered, I speed up. He pushes my hand away suddenly and grabs my erection. I groan. It was loud, so I quickly look at the idiot beside me. He has stopped playing with the pillow, and is currently drooling, in deep sleep. Muttsurini isn't drooling but he is snoring.

I reach toward him again. We do this for awhile, touching each other, slowly, then speeding up, stopping, starting, until I reach the point of no return. "I'm gonna go. . ." I close my eyes and let the waves of pleasure swallow me. During this, Hideyoshi began to pant quickly. He shuddered violently slightly after I'd gone.

"What. . . was that?"

"You know what that was." I see a sheen of sweat on his forehead beneath his bangs. I wipe it away. "It was intense."

"Indeed it was."

I always get sleepy after I go, and this time was no different (except. . . that it was different in every way. I must be Hideyosexual. Like every other guy on the planet.) I yawn and get up. "I should probably get some sleep. Akihisa calmed down so it's quiet again."

"Good night, Yuuji." He studies me, then smiles as if he knows something I don't. Which is very unlikely.

I'm able to catch some sleep, when I'm awakened by something soundly knocking my skull. Sheesh! Akihisa? What is his _problem_? And damn-that idiot's head is full of rocks! Or bricks. . . certainly not a brain. . . Shit-that head-butt hurt enough to see proverbial stars. You think I would be used to this by now, being tortured by Shouko on a daily basis.

"What? Is Yuuji sleeping in someone else's bed again?" That velvet voice purrs. A voice way too masculine to be a girl's voice, but more feminine than most guys.

But what a question! Damn it, Hideyoshi! Think before you speak! Remember you Himeji-san knocked you out with chloroform as a result of your suggestion of a stripping penalty game?

"What do you mean again?" asks Akihisa.

Here is the time to do damage control. . .

But Hideyoshi, the consummate liar when it comes to anything involving acting and my schemes on behalf of class F, hand seductively teasing his half-open yukata, replies: "He tosses around in his sleep a lot. He came into my bed around dawn and. . ."

Noooooooo! Don't say it! Shouko won't kill just me, you know—have you no sense of self preservation? And don't you want to do—that—again?

But Akihisa doesn't let him finish, jumping (for once) to the right conclusion. He whirls around and roars "I WON'T FORGIVE YOU! FOR TRAMPING ON MY PURE HEART, I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!"

He jumps on me and attempts to smother me with his pillow. I struggle between his thighs. Which is repulsive, since it is that moron Akihisa.

This is a scene that bears repeating, with a different actor.

Thankfully, without the damning evidence of Hideyoshi's words, though, it sounds like Akihisa came to a stunningly stupid conclusion. Muttsurini begins to wake up, thanks to Akihisa's screaming, but since the two of us fighting is hardly shocking, he turns on his side and puts a pillow over his head. Being a full-time pervert, wiretapper, and clandestine panty-shot specialist is taxing work.

Once I'm completely awake, I subdue Akihisa with a hammerlock. Hideyoshi watches the whole thing, amused.

"Well that outcome wasn't hard to predict" he said dryly.

That outcome was easy to predict, but what of the outcome of what happened between us?

To be continued? Yuuji sure hopes so!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Baka and Test does not belong to me.

Hideyoshi's POV

While I was certainly amused (and, I cannot lie, aroused) by the events that transpired last night, well _technically_ this morning, I still don't know what _it_ was.

I was willing to believe I'd imagined the whole thing, or dreamt it. Otherwise it was hard to comprehend: the one guy seemingly indifferent to my unique appeal coming into my bed, and well, not to be overly crude, but coming into my bed can be meant two ways. If Akihisa had done the same, I wouldn't have been surprised. I may have even invited it—lately, when Akihisa stupidly proclaims his love for me, I feel a little flattered. Perhaps if he didn't persist in viewing me as a girl, I'd be more than flattered. But it wasn't Akihisa, it was the most unlikely of my three best friends. Well, maybe Muttsurini would be the most unlikely, since he would bleed out at the mere thought of what transpired. . .

It couldn't be a dream, though, could it? The stickiness, that could be the evidence of a naughty dream, not Yuuji's intensely naughty behavior. But I was awake when I washed up and went back to sleep. It happened. Didn't it?

Breakfast was strange. Especially sitting beside Yuuji. He seemed distracted, but nothing he said gave any indication of what had happened. Maybe it was like a perverted version of sleep-walking? Maybe he didn't even remember. It could happen. I read of a man once who strangled his wife—while asleep. When he woke up, he was horrified. I'm not sure what happened to him. Poetic justice would be if he went to prison, served his time, then was released due to good behavior, works a series of menial jobs and then remarries only to be the victim of a sleep strangulation—at the hands of his second wife!

I vaguely heard Akihisa tell Yuuji about something Kudo-san had told him. That there apparently was another camera in the girls changing room.

Hm. If there had been a camera in our room last night—this morning—what would it have shown? I wonder how it looked. . .

I replay the moment when Yuuji put his large hands on my shoulders and leaned in to kiss me. It was far more gentle than I thought it could be. He probed my mouth with his tongue, and at first I was so shocked that I couldn't even feel it. Then, the sparks of sensation—it was like every nerve ending in my mouth (and also far further south) was a little firework. Maybe a sparkler. Not the fireworks that seem to explode in your chest when they light up the sky. That came later. I wasn't able to revisit those thoughts, though.

Muttsurini cleared his throat loudly, staring at me pointedly. I was supposed to respond . . . to something. . .

"Sorry; what was it you guys were discussing just now? "

Akihisa laughs. "Where were you just now?"

About to explore Yuuji's cock. . .

"Ha. Sorry; I didn't get much sleep—" Did I say that too pointedly? I heard a sharp inhale from Yuuji. He gives Akihisa too much credit. And he assumes Muttsurini is interested in anything beyond what is underneath the girls' skirts.

"We're just discussing the blackmailer."

Akihisa frowns. "I wonder if Kudo's the culprit after all?"

Since I'd been checked out this whole time, I decided to check back in and play Devil's advocate.

"Well, that's not necessarily the case. It's hard to think that the culprit would say things to cast suspicion on herself."

Ha! And that, my friends, is the exact reason why I said that Yuuji had been in my bed last night (or this morning, technically.) Why would I say something so, so suggestive(and potentially lethal)? Why would anyone say something to implicate themselves? Well, no sane person would! So isn't saying something outrageous has happened a way of saying that it _hasn't _happened?

Hm. No wonder I'm in Class F. I'm confusing myself now.

Fast forward.

Yuuji and I are alone at the table. Muttsurini has retreated to a dark corner, hunched over, whispering to Sugawa-kun. Akihisa has been accosted by Shimda-san and Himeji-san. Both girls are furious. It's best to stay out of that mess.

"Do you have a death wish?" he growled.

Best to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You know. Why did you say I'd crawled into your bed?"

"You did. . . "

He fell silent.

"I did. But that damn idiot Akihisa and Muttsurini are the last people I'd want knowing that." He faces me now, eyes burning. Wow. Yuuji is an intense guy. But I'd never realized how chiseled, how striking his features were. Perfect foil, really, to my extremely feminine features.

"I'm sorry. I thought if I said what had happened, it would seem more preposterous. And then there would be no suspicion whatsoever."

"Well that is ridiculous." He seems to be glaring at me. Usually Yuuji's gaze is quite friendly or calculating. "But it's okay since Akihisa is too stupid to realize anything and Muttsurini is otherwise occupied. I want to tell you something." Still glaring.

"There's a storage area located south of the girl's bath. It's going to be deserted early afternoon." Was he suggesting . . . ?

I narrowed my eyes. "I understand."

He nods slightly. "Good. 1:30pm."

What will happen at 1:30pm? And will it involved a jealous girlfriend? Or a (possibly) jealous twin sister?

Find out (soon!)


End file.
